Prayer for the day

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

Friday, April 2, 2010

A lesson in love

"Sweet as the dew in the early morn, like a lily among the thorns. I looked for you, the one my heart loves. I searched through the night until I rested in your sight. Now, I will never let you go. You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes. Set me as a seal on your heart. For strong as death is love, unyielding as the grave. Nothing will quench its flame."

I speak of love today. Love, an incredible gift, which maybe we, as people, do not give enough thought to. Post modern society teaches us love is easily obtained and just as easy to dispose of. Love is transient. In other words affection and attraction = love. If we look at love as the philosophers did, then we know that there is more than one kind of love and that the combination of these types of love give us a a completeness and give us the immense treasure of love.

I don't need to go into these types of love and discuss them. I would never do justice to them and would never be as eloquent as the philosophers were. But, I do want to discuss how these different types of love are necessary to love completely.

Love is a rhythm. It is everchanging and dynamic. It ebbs and flows just like the tide and it carves us and creates a beauty in all of us.

Eros - marital love, is passionate love, with sensual, sexual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love". The term erotic is derived from eros. This is the love most of think of when we think of love. It is a maddening, passionate emotion frought with desire, lust and pleasure. It drives us crazy. As quickly as the flame ignites it burns out. We are constantly looking for ways to reignite the flame. We like the passion, it makes us feel alive. Many people get stuck here, needing the constant passion to make them feel loved. Eros is a self serving love. It does not give, it only receives. It is a love which only focuses on the moment and the pleasure and no more. There is nothing long term about eros.

This love is associated with marital love. Of course it should be, this is the sexual love which nurtures and kindles the love between a man and a woman. It is absolutely necessary. It allows them to reconnect to the passion which caused them to "fall in love" and commit their lives to each other. If the marriage is based upon eros then the marriage will not endure. The energy will dissipate and the selfishness will kill what passion is left. Philia is needed.

Philia-brotherly love or friendship. Philia is a higher form of love than eros, because there is a commitment and the benefit is usually to the other person. The central idea of Philia is that of doing well by someone for his own sake, out of concern for him and not, or not merely, out of concern for oneself. We like the other person and want to associate ourselves with them because of a quality that person possesses. These feelings are usually reciprocated, but does not have to be in order for Philia to occur. Philia endures. It is able to stand the test of time due to the semi selfless nature of the friendship. One does things for the other for the benefit of the other, there is sometimes an expectation for reciprocation, which if this expectation endures can be the downfall of the friendship. Philia is absolutely necessary for love to endure. It is a cleaving of oneself to another. There is no romance or passion to it, it is simply enjoying being in the presence of another person and having goodwill toward them. In my opinion the best kind of love, yet the difficult to attain. Our selfishness usually gets the best of us and we begin to demand equal reciprocation which then destroys the foundation of Philia because the benefit is supposed to be to the other person.

Agape-love for your fellow man, a christian love, charity. A simplified version would be to think of charity. We are charitable in some fashion or another. Charity can be easy when we give something of ourself, possession or time. At a very basic level agape is easy. But one definition which gets little attention is the definition of unconditional love. We give without expectation of reward, reciprocation or acknowledgement, irregardless of who the person is. On the surface that seems to be the easiest love of all. Dropping $10 into the church collection, giving the beggar on the street some of your loose change, easy! With little effort we get great reward for our simple actions. No commitment. We can walk away from those we serve with very little repercussions in our life. Face it, the purpose of charity is to give without the expectation of reward or acknowledgement, that is where the satisfaction comes from. Knowing you have done something for someone and somehow making their life better for just a moment. It warms our hearts, and that is where the reward lies, in our hearts. To acheive a higher level of Agape it is necessary for us to learn to give of ourselves, ultimately to learn to give without expecting a reward. Giving what we do not want to give. For some that would be giving away money, others that might mean giving away possessions and for others it might mean giving of their time.

Agape is necessary for marital love. This is the selflessness, giving up of ourself for the complete benefit of the other person. Philia matures to Agape and Eros allows each person to renew the passion which attracted them to eachother in the first place. Life and love move through these types of love. The waxing and waning of love constantly changing, renewing and beautifying itself.

We do not love any two persons the same. As any parent will tell you, they love their children, but the love for each child is different. That is because what attaches or attracts us to one person may not be what endears us to another person. The depth and breadth of the love may be the same, but the actual quality of endearment may not be the same.

Love is an incredible gift from God. He created love and He created us from His love for us to love one another. He gave us different ways to love each other. God's ultimate gift of love was sacrificing His own son, so that we may live. He took His love and poured it out upon the earth. This Easter, move beyond the superficial and realize that Easter is more about love than Valentines day or any other day. God's love given to us so that we may know love. Go forth and love! <3

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